I like nature.

Well, not the "being outside" part. That's why I live in a city.

I like that no matter what you do or do not believe, nature exists. The weather impacts everyone. It's a very touching sentiment.

I love nature when I get to hear news stories about it taking back land from civilization. It reminds me of a passage in "Gone With the Wind" where Scarlet realizes that it takes work to keep the pine trees from taking back the land, that nature was there first and can be there last.

There is a city in India that's being overrun with monkeys. I find this hilarious. They know how to use faucets and doorknobs. And they are being described as terrorizing the city of Dehli, mostly because they killed the deputy mayor. Damn.


Well, we may be able to blame overdevelopment. The monkeys are just going back to where they came from. It was theirs first. How mad can you get at adorable primates acting like people, then immediately reminding us that they're not people by flinging poo?
Not very, I say.

So whatever various god you worship, or no god at all, you can have faith that nature and the weather. The earth in general is doing its thing and shutting us down when we get too uppity. Like hurricanes, and fires, and other horrible things it needs to do to recover from all the stuff we do.

So go nature! Show the world who's REALLY boss around here.

For Melissa

Wanna see why I read those trashy blogs?
Because of shit like this:

Amos Goes Ape****!

From TMZ.com

Are Addictions Contagious?

I don't really drink coffee. Drinking coffee is too casual a phrase to describe my relationship with this, my favorite beverage. Our love started in 12 grade, right after I got my license, and learned to take that f*cking horrible left turn into Dunkin, then the next horrible f*cking left back onto Grove. (these details have nothing to do with anything, i'm just reminiscing).

Since then, coffee, mostly iced coffee, has felt more like the cigarettes i'm addicted to as opposed to the tea than i enjoy. Every day I love it, I need it, I get headaches and pissed off without it. In college I had an illegal 4 cup in my dorm room that got me through the time. When I moved into the city I developed this strange 6th sense (I'll call it smision, with points if you get the joke) that could alert me to every caffeine dealer in my immediate area. Within 50 feet of my desk there are 5 places that serve coffee, 4 in my building. Extend that to 75 feet, the number jumps exponentially (about 150, as far as I can tell).

I often look at the menu board at Starbucks and hope against hope to see some kind of trans-dermal patch or straight IV drip. I have a fake ad for "Caffiderm", a fake trans-dermal patch, on the back of my door. It either boosts my spirits or taunts me most days.

So this morning, I did the usual cleaning and coffee drinking just like every Saturday. I left my coffee on my desk and went to put something in the kitchen. (I need to mention here that I have a cat, she's a huge black shorthair cat with a white spot on her chest. Goes by Sadie, but I digress.) When I return from the kitchen, she's sitting on my desk, sniffing at my coffee. A moment later, she starts lapping at it. I can't drink it now, I know where that mouth has been.
Enjoy that coffee, cat.

MY f*cking coffee.
What a bitch.

I'm lazy and I never update...

...mostly because my brilliant thoughts are so fleeting.

This time of year I find myself not really wearing outfits, and more just piling on layers of clothes. I have socks, tights, pants, a skirt, 2 tops and a cardigan on. I can only assume that they match and look reasonably appropriate for work. But if they don't (and aren't), screw it, it's f*ing cold out.

Here's some links i found on stumble, just because:
Online Books, Poems, Short Stories - Read Print
SatireWire | Australia Gets Drunk, Wakes Up in North Atlantic
The Dialectizer
MILITANTPLATYPUS » Blog Archive » The disturbing lives of fruits and vegetables