Dear CNN,

Can I be your new headline writer? These are good but I think mine would be better.

For example, you post:
R. Kelly acquitted of all child porn counts

I, personally would have gone with something more like:
"R. Kelly Aquitted, Little Man/Digital Mole Defense Successful"
with the subheadline of:
"R. Kelly thanks Dave Chapelle for the digital piss sketch that inspired the defense."
Because he should thank Dave Chapelle, that mole was DIGITAL!

Also, there's this one:
NASA identifies shiny object trailing shuttle


My version:
"NASA Distracted by Shiny Thing, Realizes It Was The Sun"

Call me, CNN. I've got more, and some are actually funny!